So I found out recently that August is Anal Sex month, I have only recently gotten back into anal sex so I thought I would talk about the way to do it safely, tips to help it be more enjoyable and of course some toys that are great for anal play as well.
Safety is the biggest thing about anal sex, because the anus is made of more delicate tissue then any other part of the body. It is more prone to tearing and that can lead to infections or worse.
Condoms are top priority for anal sex, even though yes you cannot get pregnant from it for women, but condoms help keep everything clean. It protects you and your toys from any stray fecal matter if that is a concern for you or your partner as of course some toys cannot be sterilized (anything other than glass, silicone, metal).
At the same time, anything that touches the anus should not touch anything else. While I know we see it happen quite a lot in porn, going from the ass back to the vagina or even ass to the mouth, can lead to serious infections. After any type of anal pay you should change condoms and of course wash the body parts used thoroughly.
While pregnancy is not an issue during anal sex, STDs still are. It’s not just of course limited to HIV but there are many others (herpes, genital warts, syphilis..I could go on) that can be transmitted via anal sex. Unless you are in a monogomas relationship or know your partners medical back ground, it’s not worth the risk to have sex with out a condom.
Unlike the Vagina, your anus is not self-lubricating. Lube is not only something that is needed to have safe anal sex but it makes it so much better as well! It makes the initial penetration far easier and less painful. Which for whoever is on the receiving end of the act , makes the experience a lot more pleasurable. You cannot use too much lube.
There are many kinds of lubrication, however the ones that I find to be the best suited are water based lubes. They are normally safe for anyone to use based on allergies but they also work well with condoms. Oil based lubricants can degrade the latex in a condom which ruins how useful it is. It doesn’t hurt to do
Though most of all when it comes to Lubrication. DO NOT USE A DESENSITIZING LUBE! Yes I put this into all caps for a reason. Lubes that numb the area are a huge NO, why? Well if you can’t feel anything, you aren’t going to know if something is wrong. Pain is your body’s way of telling you “HEY! This isn’t right!”. And while yes, Anal sex does have pain to it when you are first getting use to it that pain helps you figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. So stay away from these lubes at all cost.
Preparing yourself and your body
For Anal sex to be pleasurable, you also need to be prepared. Going into it being worried or stressing about things like the pain or the mess is just going to make you tense. Which in turn makes you tense there as well. Take the time to just get yourself mentally ready. It could be sexy music or a massage with your partner. Also foreplay or having any other type of sex before you jump into anal helps, because who isn’t relaxed after a good orgasm? It will help you be able to ease into anal just a little better.
You don’t even have to jump right to penetration with your partner. Take the time to stretch! Be it with fingers (which you should use gloves or even finger cots again to keep things clean, that and it keeps from stray nails nicking the thin tissue) or even a toy. Slowly increasing the size will help prevent tearing but this too can be a great form of foreplay. Doing it while performing Oral Sex can be a great thrill as well because you get both sensations.
There are many toys that can be used for anal play out there. But one thing that these toys all should have is a flared base or something you are able to hold on to retrieve it easily. If a toy is not flared at the end, I would not use it for anal play. Why? Well because of the muscles it could easily pull a toy up and into the rectum if say your hand where to slip because of lubrication. I know it’s a scary thought, but it is better to be safe then sorry.
Toy material is also important to take into consideration. Toys made of jelly, rubber, PVC not only are porous (meaning bacteria and germs just stay in their), they unable to be sanitized (so use a condom if you must use a toy made from it, but they also contain phthalates which can irritate the skin and other chemicals that burn. ABS Plastic can be okay, but its harder so there isn’t a lot of give to it. The top three that are best for anal sex are silicone, glass and metal. They are non porous and easy to sanitize after use (boiling, popping on the top rack of the dishwasher, 10% bleach solution)
Also, if your are just starting, start small. There is no shame in going with a toy that is thin and perhaps not that long. If that is what makes you feel comfortable then go for it! Anal sex is best when you are comfortable after all.
My very last tip, and this is the big one. Anal sex isn’t for everyone. Sometimes you just don’t like it, and that’s fine. Sometimes no matter how much you try, it just won’t feel right or might be painful and again that’s okay! There are so many other types of sex and things you can do in bed that if you can’t have anal it’s not the end of the world! For more information check out the links I have listed below.