Why Reviews Matter

Things have been quiet for me, I haven’t had much to talk about in the way of toys a few reviews I need to finish up that are forthcoming but at the moment I need to speak about an unfortunate interaction I had with a company.

In my time as a Cam Model sometimes I have clients who wish to gift me things. Well I have been going on about wanting a lovely tail plug. More specifically one of the plugs from Crystal Delights because holy hells are they pretty! Well, he wasn’t sold on them and instead asked if he could send me one he saw on another site. After checking it out at first I was pretty sold. It looked lovely and while there was some red flags on the site such as not listing out say measurements of the tail or anything like that. I said sure and he ordered it for me.

The tail mentioned above.

The tail mentioned above.

This was pretty good, I got the confirmation of the order rather quickly and then proceeded to wait. Almost a week and a half, not getting one word over what was going on. Which was odd because their site said that orders were filled with in 3 to 5 business days even with the weekend it had been over. So I contacted them on Fetlife where I had found a way to contact them and was told it would take about 10-15 days before my order was sent out. Okay. Strange.

But I waited doing what I could to soothe my client who thought I was using him for free things with out a pay out. Only to have it take past the 15 days and then find out…they had sent it to the wrong address. Now let me say the whole time I was in contact they where so nice. I have no issue with their customer service at all it was refreshing. My package finally came and I couldn’t be happier. Until I opened the package….


The tail which I thought was going to be full and plush like in the picture was so short and stubby. More shaped like a cat tail then a fox tail and no bigger than my head as you can see in the picture. Even when I tried to use it…the plug itself while small enough to fit was made of such hard silicone that it hurt like hell resting inside of me. The whole thing was just a mess and even my client was disappointed by it on cam.

This is why reviews and sites that have good reputations matter, when you know just what you are getting is going to be a quality product. I plan on holding out now for a tail plug that I know is going to be worth it because I know it was made well and has a number of satisfied customers, that being the ones from Crystal Delights and if you are looking for one I suggest that they are the first you look at in your search.


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Adventures in Camming: You’re Not Entitled

Often when I am not working, I get messages on the tumblr for my cam work, my email or my Skype name that I use for work. Guys who cannot seem to understand that this is a job, that I am not giving out freebies or looking to date.

What makes this worse, is at first I am actually polite. I let them know that I am happy to cam with them and that this is how we can make things work. What is worse is when they don’t understand that no I have set times I can work and I cannot be at beck and call for their pleasure. It’s however when they become irritating that I start to want to pull my hair out. Those are the guys who get the block button on them really quickly.

Though what is worse, is the guys who tip or pay for a show once or twice. Then think that they can just ask for whatever they want without having to ever pay again. Guys who think that just because I spend time talking with them in the room after they get what they paid for that I am entitled to give them more. I have had guys basically take it like suddenly they have put enough into me to basically be a boyfriend or some kind of relationship to me.

It’s honestly frustrating and has this way of making me feel like less of a person. What is even worse is that it has started to make me really worry about people I want to have honest relationships with. That they are only being nice for a short time and then its going to all turn into what they want, rather than what we both want. I am trying my hardest to make sure that it doesn’t cause this feeling anymore but I will be honest sometimes it can be hard. I don’t want to be looked at like someone who just needs to be bought a few things and then I will suddenly put out. I am a human being, no matter what I am doing as a job. People wouldn’t treat me that way if I was working retail still and I know this, when I was working retail people who were ‘courting’ me so to speak put time and effort into it. They didn’t think I was just some easy person.

What makes it worse is that I know there are people who would tell me that well, it is because of the job I am choosing to do. But that is hardly fair, it is what works for me now. It gives me the options that I need and it keeps me able to also be writing which I want to have eventually be my main job. They think they are entitled to say that to me based on the job as well, that it’s an opinion. Which sure people are entitled to, but that doesn’t mean they have to speak it out loud.

In the end, the only person who I am entitled to give or do anything for or to now.

Is myself.

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Redefining Myself

I spent the last few days reading over this blog, and I have changed a lot since I started it over four years ago on a whim when I was not working as often as I liked at my part time job.

  • I have lived in three different states.
  • I have moved a few times.
  • I have grown one hell of a sex toy collection and learned what I like/don’t like.
  • I have left an abusive relationship.
  • I have discovered new turn ons and kinks I never thought I would have.
  • I have learned how to have new kinds of orgasms.
  • I have discovered who I am sexually.
  • I have been able to open up about what I want in a relationship
  • I have discovered that I am not a monogamous person, that I am very happily polyamorous.

The person I was four years ago, is not the same person who I am now. Which is not a bad thing. This blog has been a journey and it is going to continue to be. I mean there are things I am going to continue to write about which hopefully include reviews, my time on cam and my erotica. But there are also going to be more personal posts about me finding my place in the BDSM community and my own submissive journey as well as I seek to really define it. My being submissive and those parts of me, are as important as the rest of me. But also my journey into non-monogamy as well, as I am only just taking my first steps with that.

I have defined myself many times over the years I have been alive, but I have never taken the time to redefine myself and find myself in this manner. I hope that some of you will continue to stick around with me as I do.

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Life Loves Curve Balls

Especially mine it seems.

I ran into a very large down time once again recently, but now is the time that I am kicking myself in the ass here.

Things are going to be under construction and there may even be a name change in the near future. But I wanted to peek my head in and say that I was still very much alive!

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Tantus’ 18th Birthday!

Tantus Birthday

Yes! Happy Birthday to Tantus who turns 18 this month having been around since 1997!  Now I myself have only known about Tantus for about 8 of those years, but since discovering them I have not looked back!

I remember my first Tantus Toy which was my favorite Tantus Curve which is still one of my favorites to play with to this day! But many have entered my life that have reached up to join it such as my Goddess Handle and Splish. I have amassed quite the collection at this point and I am likely going to keep adding to it! I moved on from dildos recently to enjoy the fun of their plugs like the Ryder and their paddles as well! I think the only things I haven’t tried at this point is their Harnesses, and Feeldos! But they are certainly on my sex toy bucket list!

But enough of my gushing over Tantus! Well maybe not as all this month they are giving for their birthday a FREE GIFT with the purchase of 2 toys! They only thing that doesn’t apply are their Grab Bag toys, other brand items that they sell and sales items! Oh and they have flat  rate shipping for International shipping now!

flat rate shipping

So once again, Happy Birthday Tantus! The next big one is 21 and I cannot wait to see what they come up with then!

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Thoughts While Writing Erotica

So lately I have been writing a lot more, well not here which I am sorry for but it has been fiction writing that I have done! I am starting to publish my short erotic stories on of all places Amazon! Sure the market for that kind of thing is pretty saturated, but honestly if people like Chuck Tingle can do it. I know I sure as hell can too!

Though I have found in the last few weeks of writing that there are always a few thoughts that have popped into my mind.

Wait…how does this position work?

Often time when writing, I find myself trying to be creative when writing out the sex scenes between my characters. While I do of course stick to the very traditional positions sometimes even I need to change things up. Which leads me to trying to visualize a certain position or how two people’s bodies will fit together during sex. It has even led me to attempt to at least figure out just how comfortable it is by at least putting myself one half of he positions at time! Which I will say looks a little silly but does help with the writing process.

I really need to find a better word for ______.

Sometimes, I can only use the word cock, breasts, pussy or what not so much! I have tried to be creative with it, with out devolving to using overly flowery terms like ‘his turgid member’ or ‘her budding sex’. Mostly because I know as a reader, when I come across things like that I am giggling more than I am ever able to be aroused by the words. I have found some good ways to write it that still keeps with my style, but damn sometimes I just wish we had more words!

Well that didn’t go where I thought it was going to! 

When I write, I just let the characters kind of flow which can be a little…interesting at times. I have had scenes where I had meant for them to be rather rough and kinky turn into slow and romantic. As well as a vice versa situation a few times! I have had a few scenes in which suddenly I am not writing for just 2 characters, but 3 as suddenly I have added another body to the mix somewhere before hand. Even so much as throwing in a kink or other thing that I didn’t think I was going to use but totally works for the scene/story.

Whelp, I didn’t know I was into that! <insert more research>

I am hardly very vanilla in my kinks, but every so often something pops into my head while I am writing and suddenly I find myself very into that idea. Not just for my writing but for myself. Which leads me to a good amount of research about what I am suddenly wanting in real life it is even a thing or it is just pure fantasy that I should perhaps just continue to enjoy on page. Which leads into my last thought that pops up way to often for me…

Dammit. Horny now. 

I don’t know if its like this for other writers, but because I also really love reading erotica to get myself in the mood. Writing it also has that effect, most of the time I find that after I write I have to do something or I am going to be frustrated for the rest of the day, until I do something about it. Which can be really great but I have found can also be a little annoying because sometimes while my brain is up for it the body is not.

So yes, lots of writing and much reading lately! Going to get some new reviews of books up that I have finished as well as a toy I was behind on! Keep an eye out guys!

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