I have been in this strange mood the last couple of day, pouncy and bitey are the words that first come to mind. Growling and a bit possessive, I don’t want to wait to get things I just want to take what I want and do what I please. My mind over worked with thoughts of just pinning someone against the wall and having my way with them. Don’t know why I get this way, I happen to be more passive then aggressive sexually. Which is not to say that I am not passionate, but I am not often the one who takes control. But as of late my mind has been just bouncing around these thoughts of being the aggressor.
My subconscious is almost pacing like a caged animal, waiting for just the right moment to spring and attack. Carefully watching those that I have marked as prey. Yet, at the same time, that prey is not something weaker than me it is someone normally stronger and more dominant than I am. I want a challenge, someone who won’t just bear their throat to me but will take my action and rise to meet me. Will make me work to get what I want or tame me in the process.
This kind of mood doesn’t strike me often, normally something has to trigger it. Which for me is a lack of having things I can control, when the rest of the world around me seems to be spinning to fast. When the stress just seems to be adding up and I can’t take care of the pile quick enough. I want to hold something down for all its worth and take the control myself. Or perhaps just have the control taken from me because I need to find that center, that calm of not having to worry and just be. It’s hard to say, as my mind seems to want to take either at this point. The fox in my head just grinning her own sly grin, not letting me in on the thoughts that she knows full well that I know the answers too but I have to find myself.
I just wish I had a way to let it all out. For now, my thoughts will do but I know eventually the need is going to go from being a mental to a physical one. I just wonder if I can find anyone who is up to the challenge.