Most of my coworkers know about my blog, none of them visit but they know about it and they ask me how its going taking a general interest in what I am doing.
Recently we got a swath of new hires, who in the whole getting to know you chatting that sometimes happens on down time it has come up that I am a sex blogger. Most of them have taken it the same way as the others, curious questions and what not. I answer them and it is just another thing we talk about now and then.
But it was not the same after this revel came out to one of them yesterday. While one coworker was asking me about it, she over heard it while they where doing her training and asked ‘oh what do you write?’. I answered back ‘I’m a sex blogger, you know reviews of toys, articles and erotica.’ I am proud of my blog so this whole time I have a grand smile on my face. She proceeds to give me a once over with her eyes, give an award-winning smile and says…
‘Oh, I am a real fiction writer.’ You could hear in her voice that the fiction part was almost a second thought, that she just wanted to say ‘real writer’. Her body language backed that up after her once over, her eyes clearly wondering ‘how can this girl write about that?’ I know that of course I could be reading into something that I wanted to see, but I don’t like to think that anyone is thinking negatively about what I do. Until they actually do it.
I am very glad that I have had years of being raised to hide when I am slighted, or I would have done something drastic. Instead of just keeping my smile on my face and letting her go on about her book that is coming out and the release party for it. All the while twitching inside my head with so much to say, all because I didn’t want to turn my job into a war zone. What it did do was make me take stock of just why I write a sex blog of all things, when I could have written a million other things.
I am a sex blogger because I have always loved sex. I think its one of the most natural things in the world. I think its one of those things that we need to stop making so taboo aside from normal missionary position sex.
I am a sex blogger because, like they say…write what you know! I know sex, I know good sex and I know bad sex. I know vanilla sex and I know kinky sex. Hell the sex that I don’t know I do my best to get out there and know it even just a bit so that I can get to know it better. It expands my horizons not only in sex and sexuality, but it expands my horizon on the whole world.
I am a sex blogger because, it helps me be more in touch with my sexuality. Something that for years I took for granted, letting others around me define it, instead of grabbing it by the hair and taking it for myself. And in doing that, in writing about it, I know that maybe somewhere some one will read it and see that they aren’t alone. Alone in the things that turn them on, alone in the things they want to get out of sex, or alone in their opinions about sex.
So don’t you dare tell me, even in a roundabout way that I am not a real writer. I may not be published, I may not have a huge well-known name (YET), I may not look like what your definition of a ‘real writer’ is. But that is what I am and what I will always be. I pour myself and all of my energy into what I am writing. From my reviews to the little memes that I do now and then, all of that is a part of me.
I take pride in it.
Everytime someone comments on a post or one of my friends who follows my blog mentions something I start beaming like someones mother. Hell, I did a happy dance a few days ago when a friend came to me asking me for recommendations on a dildo for another friend who they where looking to get a gift for. When I see people read my reviews and then click the links to go check it out more, it’s not about the money for me. It’s about hoping that my review was helpful enough to them to make that choice, be it the technical parts of the review or my own personal experiences that helped them. It’s about seeing the articles like ones on safe toy materials, safe anal sex or even ecofriendly toys are getting readers, that they are learning more about sex toys but about sex in general. I know that to one of the people reading it, I could be making a huge difference in how they see something. My writing is reaching someone, even if it’s not millions of readers…its reaching at least one or two people.
I am a sex blogger, I am a real writer and like hell I am going to let you take that away from me ever.