I know that writing personal things can be rare with this blog, but this is my first step into making more personal posts and opening up not only to the readers of this blog. But, of course opening up to myself by letting these things out into the light.
So in a few weeks I actually will be moving headed all the way back to the Midwest and staying for a while with my parents. This isn’t to say that things will stop on the blog, but for a while they will be a little erratic. I have been trying to finish reviews of the things I have, while making sure I have the time to get it all packed up. This is really showing me that while I love my collection I need to weed it out a bit, as well as get some real organization going of the things I do plan to keep. It will be interesting and should lead to some fun posts, because I am going to be sharing a room with my 18-year-old cousin while I am at my parents place. I know for a fact she is going to have a million and one questions. So maybe I can just give her and my other cousin who lives with my parents the things that I haven’t used. Best home-coming gifts ever?
My move is for a few reasons, while Texas has been a great learning experience for me both in the realm of relationships and about myself. Its has taught me the things I need in my life and the things that I need to take a step back from to figure out just what I need from it. While I am scared, I realize that this is a step that I need to take in order to get my life together. Because in the end, that is who I need to be able to take care of before I can think about taking care of anyone else. I came down here to so that I could live my life with out my family being so close, but I am realizing that its something in my life that I shouldn’t have run from. But that it was something that made me who I am.
There is part of me that is sad to be leaving behind The Boy, we have been in each others lives for 6 years now. There have been ups and there have been downs, but we have both come out of this learning something and knowing that we both have parts of us that while they fit well together. But we can’t hold on to those things when there are other things that have been broken for quite some time. I have my depression and he has his issues that have never meshed well together because of how we both view the world. He has a place in my heart like anyone that I have allowed close enough to me in my life, but I have to make room for myself. It is the one person that I have never really loved or accepted. Which is one of the reasons I started this blog in the first place, was to learn to accept myself and the things important to me.
I am starting over again, but I am not starting over from the beginning. I consider more what I am doing is…starting the game again on Game + mode. A little harder this time, but I have leveled up and I deserve the challenge. Its going to be harder, but I welcome it.