There are many sex toy blogger problems that float around, we have all had them from the simple things of not having charged a toy that we want to use to having so many toys to compare but not enough time! Though recently one happened to me that was not enough to fit on the 140 characters that twitter gives me.
My roommate was watching Anime on a random website for such things, when stopped what he was playing to talk to me in the kitchen.
Him: You have to hear this comment.
Him: “One time I was swimming in a pond full of dildos and one slipped up my butt.”
I wanted to laugh. Which I did after the look of sheer dumbfounded WTfuckery left my face. But then I paused because I suddenly had ALL the questions. Which where as followed…
If this was a pond, was it natural or man-made? Well clearly it has to be man-made, right? Because natural would maybe suggest another source of water and that would mean there was a dildo river or lake some where, right? Lazy river of dildos and blow up dolls or something? But wait, if this was a pond full of dildos what kind? I mean if it was jelly that is just gross, I mean what the hell is in the water because of that? Wouldn’t they degrade over time in the sun and water? What about silicone or other materials, I mean based on that depending on how full it was if you jumped in wouldn’t you have a Scrooge McDuck moment and just break something on the density of the dildos? As for one slipping into someone…how would that even work? Water is hardly lubricating enough, does that mean that it was filled with lube as well?
As you can read, nothing good really can come from this train of logic. My roommate certainly enjoyed my almost 10 minutes of ranting. Curled up on the couch laughing as I bounced from one thing to the next, dissecting the sentence it seemed down to every detail. But internet comments like this are dangerous to a sex toy bloggers brain I tell you.